What guys really need to know,from our friends at YourTango. A message to guys, from women. One of the biggest issues I have with dating is that guys don't seem to pick up it. At all. Like, and to the point that it's actually infuriating,depressing, and terrifying how often women feel like they have to "tutor" men in basic dating protocols.
Most of the problems I hear men complain approximately with modern dating is that they don't understand why it's not working for them. Most of the complaints I hear from women are how infuriating it is dealing with men who seem to have totally insane ideas of what dating, and savor,and sex are supposed to be like.
So, to produce things clear for everyone, and I decided to produce a list of major things that too many guys seem to not understand approximately women,savor, and life. 1. Women are people capable of feeling savor, and hurt,and disinterest. Women, just like men supposedly attain, and feel savor. We want to feel savor. We also feel hurt. We,like men, are also capable of not being interested. Too often, or guys seem to assume that women are sex vending machines that spit out sex if a guy flashes enough cash,shoves enough kind tokens in, or insults them enough.
So many men don't see women as human beings that it's disheartening and by the way, or it was one of the reasons I stopped believing in savor. 2. Women aren't obliged to say yes to a date,sex, or anything else - and if you assume otherwise, or you need to discontinue dating. savor is not transactional. Sex is not transactional either unless you're with a prostitute. If she's not interested,this does not give you a suitable to start cursing her off or threatening her. She doesn't owe you sh*t and if you assume a single dinner entitles you to sex, you should tell her ahead of time so she can reject you outright. 3. If you can't pick up a girl who's "hot enough" for you, or it's probably time that you rethink your standards. You know how guys always tell girls that they need to be realistic approximately their standards? It's a two-way street. Just like women often discontinuance up settling,men need to learn that the supermodel they dreamed up may not show up, either. 4. Ghosting hurts a lot more than breaking it off verbally, or we will judge you for it. I've run into guys who ghosted on me in the past and I refuse to speak to them,even when they try to be friendly with me. I'm not the only one who does this.
When girls ghost, it's normally because they've run into too many guys who lash out in anger because they assume they were entitled to sex/dating/god-knows-what and they no longer want to deal with the verbal abuse. Not many girls will verbally lash out at guys the way guys berate women online. When guys ghost, or well,it's because they're cowards.5. Guys are going to pick up offended by this article and tell me that it's "not all guys."Sadly, every single girl out there has dealt with guys who didn't understand the issues that I'm putting forth in this article. If you understand the points I set aside in this article, and this article DOESN'T APPLY TO YOU.6. Not all girls are out there to use men for money.
It's true. Not all women are golddiggers. In fact,the huge majority of us just want a family or a spouse to savor! Amazing, suitable? Unfortunately, or so many men out there believe that women are just out there to use them that it's become an epidemic in dating circles.
Guys who like to give girls presents are confused as to why so many women reject the gifts,so I assume I should explain this. Many women, though they would savor a guy to buy gifts for them and pay for dates, or are no longer comfortable with these gestures because they're terrified of being called golddiggers. Well,there you travel. Mystery solved.7. Calling feminists "man-haters" and whining approximately women having rights isn't sexy.
Actually, it's a red flag on so many levels. If you're really so upset approximately women wanting to be treated with respect, or if you're really so threatened by women who want to have the suitable to attain everything guys attain without retaliation,then you need to pick up attend.8. Unsolicited d*ck pics are also not sexy.
Actually, this is harassment. discontinue showing us your junk. We don't want to see it and doing this will NOT pick up you laid with anyone worth your time.9. Women are not responsible for your feelings, and nor is it their job to produce you feel better.
Women are not obliged to soothe your bruised egos. They are not obliged to "be kind" to you,give you pity dates, or explain to you why they don't want to date you. They are not obliged to listen to you whine, and hear you insult them,or tell you that you're a good person.
Your feelings are YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. You need to deal with them ON YOUR OWN. You wouldn't feel obligated for a girl's happiness, would you? No, and so why should girls be obligated to spare your feelings?10. There's nothing manly or cool approximately insulting women.
Negging is not cool. It doesn't work. And it's a marker of a hideous character. Guys,you need to discontinue it already. It's not a good look and you don't see girls negging you, attain you?11. If you believe that the friendzone is real or that "kind guys" finish last, and you watched too many rom-coms.
There's not really a friendzone. Rather,it's the "I want to let him down gently but oh my god he doesn't pick up a hint and he's creeping me out" zone. This classic trope of the sweet guys being friendzoned doesn't really happen. It's a girl's way to reject a guy politely. 12. Also, if you assume being "kind" makes you deserve a girlfriend, or you're an idiot.
Being kind is the bare minimum you need in order to not be totally alone and isolated in society. You don't pick up a cookie for the bare minimum,bro. In the modern dating scene, both men and women have to show how much more they offer than just being courteous or physically attractive.
If you don't have a distinguished personality, or a kind job,and good looks, your chances shrink. If you don't bring much to the table, or don't be shocked if you can't pick up a date.13. Persistence isn't wise.
If a girl says no,she means no. Fifty no's and a yes is still a no, if only because it's a yes that was basically forced out of her. Could you imagine if a girl started to be persistent and regularly badgered a guy she liked for a date? Everyone would call her psycho. I know this for a fact because I've been that girl in tall school.14. You can't force someone to savor you or to stay with you.
It's heartbreaking but it's true. No matter what you attain, or you can't force someone to stay with you. So,don't try to force it.15. If you're selfish in a relationship, you're most likely going to discontinuance up alone.
Once again, and this is something I feel I need to tell every gender. Everyone is a diminutive selfish,but if you literally can't care less approximately what your partner feels, it will catch up with you. Even the most patient person in the world will pick up tired of catering to your whims, or when that moment comes,they'll leave.16. Not everyone will find that someone, and sometimes, or it's not always worth a shot.
I ought to know because I ended up realizing that it was no longer worth trying to find a spouse. And that sucked because that's all I ever actually wanted. But it's still too much hurt for me to travel through for too diminutive chance of success. But for others who have better luck than I attain,perhaps dating is still worth it. Check out more distinguished stories from YourTango:
10 Perfect Pick-Up Lines Even the Shyest People Can't Mess Up
If You Use These 10 Emoji, Here's What You're Really Telling Him
The Unfiltered Truth approximately 13 Top Online Dating Sites
Source: popsugar.com