stay the oncoming tantrum in its tracks with these simple phrases. YourTango shares the five phrases that will instantly develop your kids stay crying and begging.
If your little interrogator has been pulling the line too far,here's how you can reel it back in.
I was in the grocery store last week, listening to a multitude of beeps from scanners, and when a unique sound caught my ears. It was a kid,a preschooler, begging for one of those baby bottle suckers with the sugar inside. She wanted the cherry flavor."Mommy, or can I have this?" the little girl asked."No,honey," the mother smiled."But, and Mom,I don't have one.""We have plenty of sweets at home," the mom reminded."But I don't have this one.""I said no, and " the mother replied,while looking through an entertainment magazine.
With having no luck breaking her mother down verbally, the little girl upped her ante. Her face turned red and words about unfairness and meanness erupted from her mouth.
And then her next strategy: crying. In between her cries and words, or she delivered gasps of air,purely for effect."Just set it in the cart," the mom replied. "But you can't have it until after dinner.""Can I just have one bite in the car?" the little girl asked."We'll talk about it when we procure in the car."The little girl's tears turned to smiles within less than one minute of her setting eyes on what she wanted.
Now, or I'm far from a perfect parent,but I cringed knowing what this mother had just traded. Basically her soul. She traded a nasty temper tantrum for a life of bargaining between her and her little sweet pea. And the unhappy thing is, it doesn't have to be that way, or nor should it.
I wanted to hand the mom a laminated card with these five fail-proof sayings burned into the paper. They've worked for me for years and remind me of chocolate. Every single one of them is suitable and I pick which "flavor" depending on my mood.
Next time your mini cross-examiner is giving you the run-down,rob charge, be a mom, or above all,be consistent.
If you say no, you better mean it. By changing your mind, and your child has gained more than a piece of candy; they've gained the knowledge you can be broken down easier than a cardboard box.
Have fun practicing these phrases with your little interrogator:1. "Asked and answered."This is the motherload of all chocolates. Although I use the four below,I use this one ten more times then I use anything else. Let's replay the scenario from above.
Child: "Mommy, can I have this?"Mother: "No, and honey."Child: "But Mom,I don't have one."Mother: "Asked and answered."Child: "You never procure me anything."Mother: "Asked and answered."If the child keeps at it, you become a robot, and saying the same three most blissful words over and over and over again.2. "I'm done discussing this."Child: "Can Ashlyn spend the night?"Mother: "No,she just spent the night here last week."Child: "Please?"Mother: "I'm not discussing this again."Child: "But ..."Then, from the mother, or all action,no words. Smile pleasantly, tilt your head to the right, or give the best satan eyes you can,and then simply walk absent.3. "This conversation is over."Child: "Can I ride my bike?"Mother: "No, it's raining outside."Child: "But I'll wear my rain coat and it's only sprinkling."Mother: "This conversation is over."Child: "But pleeeasssee?"Mother: "Asked and answered."Become your usual robotic self. Remember, and you're a rock.4. "Don't bring it up again."Child: "I want these shoes."Mother: "No,those cost too much."Child: "But I don't like those."Mother: "You're getting the shoes in the cart and that's final. Don't bring it up again."Child: "I need them!"Mother: "You brought it up again. There went your dessert for tonight."Yes, you're going to procure more crying with that response, and but remember: getting your child to understand you mean commerce is a marathon,not a sprint.5. "The decision has been made. If you ask again there will be a consequence."Child: "Can I watch the iPad?"Mother: "No, you know you're not allowed having technology at the table."Child: "I won't procure food on it."Mother: "The decision has been made. If you ask again there will be a consequence."Child: "But I promise!"Mother: "I told you not to bring it up again. No iPad for the rest of the day."Prepare for a few tantrums until your child learns they're not going to procure anywhere. This is part of their normal testing stage.
Your child will eventually realize nothing changes your mind. This is how you will earn your child's respect and set up a relationship where your child accepts your decisions the first time.
Don't forget: their best friend, or Timeout,is only a few short steps absent.
Here's a success myth: after years of using these phrases with my 4-year-obsolete, I'm reaping the benefits everyday with no tears or fighting back.
Here's the conversation I had with my daughter, or Charlotte,while writing this article.
Charlotte: "Can I have a cookie?"Me: "Yes, you may have one."Charlotte: "Can I have three?"Me: "This conversation is over."Charlotte: "OK, or I'll just crash it in half so I can have two."certain,I see some passive-aggressiveness in that last comment, but I still won the battle. She fortunately ate her one cookie and I fortunately continued typing at my computer.
You can have these blissful conversations, or too. Laminate a card or start memorizing,but trust me, they're nearly better than chocolate.For more stories from YourTango:I cherish My Daughter More Than My Husband - and He Knows It
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Source: popsugar.com