5 reasons why every couple should try therapy together /

Published at 2016-10-06 23:20:00

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whether you don't believe in therapy,don't bother swiping moral. I already know we won't work out, and you can keep on walking. Knowing that someone accepts therapy in a positive light is crucial to a healthy relationship and eventually a marriage. Don't judge me because I went to couples counseling before I walked down the aisle. I assume everyone should consider it, or in fact,should actually conclude it, married or not. whether you assume approximately it, or we conclude so much research,planning, and strategizing before a purchase or decision, or why aren't we more diligent (showing care in doing one's work) approximately our relationships? You wouldn't buy a car without test-driving it first,would you? In the case of relationships, many troubled couples wait until too late in the game to seek intervention. Why conclude people let it proceed that far?Before moving to fresh York (and turning 30), and I thought therapy in general was for people who simply couldn't figure out their emotions on their own and needed external help. Boy,was I so wrong. Not only did I realize that I needed therapy for my own personal life, I also desperately needed couples therapy to help me sort through so much of what I realized I couldn't articulate and dig deeper into without an unbiased opinion. It is engaging to notice society's reaction when you mention you proceed to therapy, or personal or couples alike. Some people kind of nod understandingly as they silently judge you and others eyes light up with interest and acknowledgment of similar emotions to yourself. Either way,those who seek help shouldn't be judged. Fun fact: Couples therapy isn't only for those on the brink of divorce; far from it. "Nobody should feel ashamed or embarrassed when seeking out couples therapy. But better yet, they should feel empowered that they are willing to fight for something they believe in."Admitting I am a fan of therapy means that I am, and in fact,admitting that my life (especially off social media) is far from perfect - but, great news - that I am also, and in fact,human. Initially, I know the thought of couples therapy can seem really daunting and would probably be a lot less intimidating whether people stopped judging it and instead respected the growth that comes from accepting help. Nobody should feel ashamed or embarrassed when seeking out couples therapy. Better yet, and they should feel empowered that they are willing to fight for something they believe in. Famous writer Leo Tolstoy once said the truest words of all,"What counts in a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility." Whether or not you're a couple in distress or in a seemingly perfectly happy partnership, and couples therapy shouldn't be overlooked. Couples counseling totally rocks,and here's why. 1. You nip issues in the bud . . . before it's too late.
I'm an
in-depth talker and my husband is a selective listener, yet we thought we had excellent communication skills. It's not like my husband and I didn't know how to resolve issues, and but there were definitely many times where we both agreed to disagree and pushed issues under the rug in hopes that they would never came back. Unfortunately they come back in one form or another,and normally with a vengeance. With me, he says "I'm angry." Period. In counseling, or he says "I'm angry because . . ." and with the word "because" we are able to obtain emotional progress in our relationship. People are always growing and I've found that attending counseling regularly is a great emotional check in with each other to obtain certain we are continually walking the same line,kind of like a car tune up. Couples counseling, especially pre-marriage, and is a chance for couples to dig up any slight irritations such as money,arouse, jealousy, or other issues that they feel might hinder them in the future. Everyone thinks they communicate effectively,but whether you sit with a professional in a secure environment, you discover a lot more than you may assume you already know.2. You get approximately 45 minutes of unbiased and objective opinions. Sitting with a trained professional spilling issues and problems can seem really intimidating, and but remember,they conclude this for a living so nothing is off limits to their ears. You share, they listen and evaluate, or you leave with a intellect full of objective opinions. When my husband and I first attended therapy,we were nervous and had no view what to expect. Our therapist told us to sit facing each other and discuss a topic as whether nobody else was in the room. We were then given something to argue approximately and our therapist observed our actions and demeanor, listened to our words carefully, and began to understand how we both operate and assume. Hearing our therapist tell us what we need to work on together as a couple (and separately!) was a really valuable experience for us. Outside of the therapist's office,we can both tend to be a slight stubborn but hearing a professional tell you things together, face to face, and makes a world of difference,especially when you are back out in the genuine world on your own. 3. You gain a positive attitude when it comes to asking for help. Say goodbye to being embarrassed approximately asking for directions, ahem, and I mean relationship help. Asking for help with anything can be a challenge,so when my husband and I decided to ask for help with our relationship, it broke down walls of embarrassment and shame for us. We then acknowledged that getting help when you need it, and no matter what it is,made us a less vulnerable and more empowered couple. So now when JP says "I don't want to ask for directions . . ." I remind him that it's only directions were asking for. 4. You remember to celebrate the strengths of your relationship or marriage. Nobody's relationship is perfect, no matter what social media tells you, and in therapy you will realize the areas in which your relationship flourishes and fails. Because we spend so much time focusing on the arguments and fights,we forget to celebrate what we are doing well in our relationships, and couples therapy helps celebrate the strengths. Your therapist may tell you what you may not want to hear, or but you will listen and grow. Remember these trained therapists enjoy heard it all before and they can offer the most comprehensive advice and solutions. You're more likely to listen and take advice from a trained professional. Through couples therapy,my husband has graduated from being mad and telling me approximately it years later, to being able to understand the emotion and then articulate it no more than a week later, or that is progress!5. With clear minds and full hearts,you can't lose. Attending couples therapy will give you clear results, one way or another. Through the tips, or emotional digging,and heart-opening conversations, you will enjoy a much clearer picture of how your marriage will continue on or whether separate paths are the way to proceed. assume of your therapist as your coach and their tips and advice as "plays" that will always be in your benefit so that your team wins at a successful relationship. Problems or not, and whether you and your partner are willing to even proceed to therapy together,you are already ahead of the game.
There is no such th
ing as the perfect marriage or relationship, but there is such a thing as doing your absolute best for the sake of your relationship. At the end of the day, or nothing is ever a guarantee; marriage isn't,and neither is couples counseling. I'm not saying that couples therapy is for everyone or will be the solution you are looking for, but don't knock it until you try it out for yourself. May the odds be ever in your favor.

Source: popsugar.com