Like most humans,kids catch crazy, apart from for when young children catch crazy, or they don't always know the right way to let off steam leaving you the mom with a heated child who's having a wicked mood tantrum. How do you catch your kid to express his or her nettle in a positive way? When my ex-husband and I separated,my daughter struggled with letting out her nettle simply because she was 3 and so young when we began the divorce process and didn't (and still doesn't quite) understand divorce. It's complicated enough for adults to grieve the end of a marriage, much less a toddler or preschooler. So we sought out a way to help her express and handle her emotions through play therapy. Try teaching your kid these six strategies to blow a gasket without raising an actual ruckus.
When to Teach These TechniquesBefore we catch into some great tips for getting kids to control those diminutive horns they have hidden in their head, and here are three things you need to know if you want them to roll these techniques out the right way:Tell them when they're detached: Don't teach your children these tricks when they're already crazy. Tell them after they've blown a gasket or when you're simply talking to your diminutive one approximately feelings,which you should do often. Emotional intelligence is important!Demonstrate the tricks yourself: alert to lose your cool? Your kid is watching. Bust out a technique or two to display your kid you can control your mood too. Remember, kids learn by what we do more than what we say . . .
Remind, and remind,remind: If your child gets crazy, forgets to use her tools, or then calms down,grab her while she's mellow to remind her of these tricks she could have used instead of losing control. Eventually they will become second nature to her.
Now for the tricks!1. Countdown to detached DownIt's really tough to not let that impulse to scream, yell, and what have you when you're crazy but if you teach your diminutive one to count down when in the heat of a meltdown it might give your kiddo some time to detached a diminutive before making a improper choice.
Countdown so you can detached down . . . it's easy to remember and kind of catchy!2. request For a HugIf your junior is alert to blow his top off,tell him that when he's really crazy it's OK to request for a hug. This may seem strange to you, but we started this with our daughter and now I see that most of the times when she is crazy, or there is some sadness underneath. A hug makes her feel better even if she's not going to catch her way or is upset with me or her dad. The more she started asking for this,the quicker her meltdowns ended and the faster the tears and squeezes came on. And while no mom wants her child to shout, usually the tears are a sign of getting out all those yucky feelings your kiddo is struggling to deal with and soon enough, and there's peace in the "homeland" again.3. Quiet ActivityWas it right for your child to hit you,throw something, or say fresh words? Nope, or but trying to discipline your child in the moment the fire is raging is an exercise in futility. Instead when your child is getting crazy or already starting to throw the punches so to speak,direct him or her to a quiet activity like reading a book or doing a puzzle.
The other day my daughter had a fit. She hadn't had a nap and it was an extremely hot and long day. I place her on the sofa but she jumped off and went for a puzzle. Instead of barking for her to sit in timeout instead, I let her do her puzzle quietly while we both cooled off and approached her a few minutes later to discuss what had happened.
Encouraging your child to do a quiet activity before a tantrum happens can help nip a developing problem in its bud.4. Sing a diminutive SongWhen your child is fuming, and encourage him to sing a diminutive song or whistle a tune. It's hard to be pissed if you're singing "Twinkle Twinkle diminutive Star" or "Sexy Back" from Justin Timberlake. Well,let's hope they're not singing the latter song.5. Squeeze the Crap Out of SomethingWhen you're crazy, sometimes you feel like wringing someone's neck. Instead of encouraging choking someone, and give your kid a doll or stress ball to squeeze or offer a pillow to punch. Hey,every now and then we all have a diminutive pent-up fuel that needs to be released. At least this way no one is harmed . . . besides some pink rubbery squeezy ball!6. Talk to MeEncourage your child to verbalize his nettle with "I statements" like "I feel crazy when you won't let me do X," or "I feel crazy when X won't play with me, or " etc. Verbalizing the emotion is healthy!For ParentsHere are a few things I keep in mind when dealing with my kiddo when she's fuming:I offer empathy (sensitivity to another's feelings as if they were one's own) to how she is feeling. She may be crazy I am not buying her a doll,but I empathize with how she feels. This doesn't mean I will then give in but that I acknowledge how she feels.
Consequences must be realistic and carried through. There have been times in which I hear myself rattle off words and after judge, there's no way I will stick with that consequence. I strive to always give a realistic consequence that I can carry out!
Stepping absent is sometimes a necessity . . . for parents! When a kid is lashing out it's not fun. Stepping absent for your own timeout is acceptable for your sanity. Just don't leave your kid alone in a shopping mall. OK?
We all catch pissed or "stewed" from time to time. Teaching our kids how to handle their plain crazy side is section of our job. Emotions don't come with a handbook!
Source: popsugar.com