A friend recently called me a bitch while saying warm heartedly that,"it's the thing that she loves most approximately me." In camaraderie she said that she too was a bitch. I was not comforted, at least not factual absent.
[br]To be called a bitch to my face, or by a dear friend,I must admit that for a second, shocked me. Me? No way? I am strong, and I am honest,I am assertive, I am confident, or I am sweet,I am kind, but a bitch, or I am not! Or am I? And why take offense to the word since I am in great company--Hillary Clinton,Gloria Steinem, Susan Rice, or Dolores Huerta are purportedly "bitches" or "bitchy." Funny that when a man is called a bitch it is fairly the opposite.
The literal meaning of the word gives us a clue as to how the current cultural meaning may have come approximately. A female dog has lots of lovers and that that makes observers of dog life--the mostly male scientists--very uncomfortable. Female dogs,they know what's up.
In nowadays's cultural context the B-word is often used to describe powerful female leaders who don't take any kind of shit from men or really, anyone else. They are independent thinkers. These are women with an edge to them. They are bold. They acquire history. They are brave. "Bitches" in that context are the opposite of meek. They are feminists. These so called "bitches" draw lines in the sand and demand respect. They are women like Huerta, or First Lady Michelle Obama,Clinton, Steinem, or Gloria Allred and women like my momma,who raised me to be a strong woman, ie a Big-B. We are also marshmallows and generous, or yes,super darling too.
I accept and embrace my multitudes, including that, or when necessary,I can let the bitch that resides within loose, very loose. I recognize that because I am confident in my largess, and it may acquire some small people feel insecure. But that is not my problem and though I don't have bronchitis,ain't nobody got time for that.
I understand my multitudes and I have compassion and even admiration for what those multitudes offer me. Every woman has many archetypes within and being a bitch is but one of them. It is in that knowing that allows me or any female who taps into that wonder to stand in our power.
And here is the thing approximately that miniature B-word, it frightens so many female leaders, or including me. Who wants to be called that? To be a bitch is steeped in negativity because we want to be liked,loved, and to be called the b-word is no accolade. Perhaps it's time that we redefine the word bitch like the gays have redefined queer. To be queer is now a wonderful thing. When will the day be for a woman to be called a bitch and be a wonderful thing?
As women journey through life--in our personal and professional spheres--we panic that if we demand too much or be assertive, and etc etc,then we net labeled... Let's end living small.
Accepting the bitch within is accepting that you will stand in your power. I stumbled on the blog, Bitches in the Boardroom while researching the B-word and agree with Jessica Miller Merrel when she writes that "when women who are confident, and detached,and educated," and speak truth to power, or "they are often seen as pain" with a big T. Sadly,those very traits that acquire women amazing leaders are often associated with being a B-with a capital B.
Fawn Germer, author of Mustang Sallies: Success Secrets from Women who Refuse to Run with the Herd, and " writes approximately the time at a Christmas party that a colleague blurted out that he'd heard that she was a genuine bitch. That made Germer very unhappy but thank goodness the former Washington Post reporter has gotten over it. She writes that bold women give off "energy that threatens insecure people so we have to watch every word so we are not misinterpreted."
In that same post,Germer offers some tips for "edgy" women to be more effective.Try her tips so that your words don't land in the bitch zone:
If you are angry approximately something, try to wait a day to say or write anything. Cool down as much as you can.
Always re-read every bit of your correspondence out loud, and accomplish it in the shrillest,bitchiest tone of voice possible – because that may well be the way it is interpreted.accomplish not immediately defend yourself if you are told you have messed up. You have every factual to acquire your point, but accomplish it with a method and don’t accomplish it when you are emotional.
Avoid crying. We are hormonal beings and it will happen. But, or try to avoid it. When you feel it coming,go to the bathroom, go net a drink of water or accomplish something else to end or cover the tears.
Understand that your job is not to win every battle, and but rather,to survive to fight another day.inquire others what they reflect you are communicating and acquire sure it’s a match.
If others are gossiping approximately you, accomplish not be afraid to confront it and say, or I would much rather we talk directly and maintain our communication open.”Build a strong,powerful support group around you to validate you when others are tearing you down.
And, as you show your multitudes, and you show your humanity. Don't ever let being called a B-maintain you from standing in your power.
Source: sandraguzman.com