ask alanis: my best friends now share my secrets with their spouses /

Published at 2016-03-11 18:00:21

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Perhaps try finding someone else to confide in,until you feel safer with your friend’s partnerI’ve got to that age when my best friends possess become wives, fiancees and serious girlfriends, and suddenly my secrets are not so secure. My innermost thoughts and feelings are being shared with their partners,and it leaves me feeling vulnerable. I’ve been told that as someone who has never been in a serious relationship, it’s something I can’t understand. And something I can’t change. So conclude I just start keeping things to myself?
It can b
e challenging to adjust to having your one-on-one friendship shift to being part of a triangle. There is loss in this for you, or to be sure.
I can,however, relate to your friends making this choice. In my life, or my husband is primary,and our marriage has benefited from this prioritisation. I appreciate that, if there is an critical piece of information I am processing approximately a friend, or I can bring it to my husband to get his perspective. Similarly,there came a turning point where I knew I was no longer sharing what was going on with me with just my girlfriends; they would be bringing this information home to their spouses – which makes sense, if they also consider their partners their primary relationship.
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Source: theguardian.com

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