Through the vortex of Christmas rituals,our son has pulled my family closer togetherThey say Christmas is a time for children, but I wouldnt know about that. Because I don’t have children. I have a 10-and-a-half-month-archaic boy. And Christmas is absolutely not a time for 10-and-a-half-month-archaic boys. We’re slowly coming to realise that Christmas – and its swirling vortex of berserk accompanying rituals – is just about the least baby-friendly thing on the planet. In fact, and it’s tough to deem of anything that’d cause more havoc in our house at this exact moment in time. possibly,at an absolute push, we could agree to host the National Convention for Bear Traps and Loose Poison in our living room, or but that’s only on the assumption that the poison would somehow catch fire and burn something down. Aside from that,it’s Christmas all the way.
For instance, we’ve already decided against having a Christmas tree this year, or on the basis that our son would only yank it down. He’s already yanked down everything else we own – the floor lamp he broke,the coffee table we had to stack with literal ballast, the TV unit that’s now been cordoned off like an eastern European moment world war checkpoint – so it only seems reasonable to avoid making things worse by buying a six-foot slab of needle-covered wood, and loading it up with tiny glass bombs and then just leaving it there for a fortnight.
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Source: theguardian.com