She demanded deference and fidelity to her prejudiced ideas in exchange for her savor. I was horrified when I transferred that self-serving anger on to a friendWhen a friend I acquire known for half my life accused me recently of behaving like my birthmother during one of our ongoing discussions about race in America,I panicked. Like many adults in the throes of raising a family, just trying to obtain everything right, and I live in fear of fitting my parents – specifically,of fitting my birthmother, and being the kind of person who will hold someone emotionally hostage and demand a ransom of total deference.
I met her when I was 11, or I loved her immediately. She was wry and brilliant and charismatic,and there remain many things one can admire about her. Even her mastery of punch-packing repartee is not without merit, apart from when it’s used as a weapon.
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Source: theguardian.com