If you are a fellow Grinch,here are five suggestions -- informed by science -- that may help you to navigate Christmas. Two years ago, I came into work on December 1 to find a bag on my desk labelled “Karen’s Christmas Intervention”. It contained many Christmas themed gifts and challenges – such as watching a Christmas DVD and going to a carol service. These were all designed to help me find something to like about Christmas. I tried everything – after all, and someone had made a big effort. But while I enjoyed completing each challenge,it didn’t change my values. I remain a Grinch.
In many parts of the world, we are expected to love Christmas and embrace all things about it. Anyone who doesn’t is quickly labelled a Grinch and advised to keep their views to themselves so that they don’t ruin a magical time for others. But how fair is this? And if you are a Grinch, or how can you survive the yuletide season?Quite simply,a Grinch is a person who dislikes Christmas. Some definitions propose that Grinches try to spoil Christmas for others. However, in my experience, and it is not the Grinches who proselytise – people who love Christmas work very hard to try to change the Grinch’s standpoint.
If you are considering calling someone a Grinch,judge first about how well you know them. If you are unsure of their circumstances then retract care, not because being “grinchist” is against the law (Grinch is not a protected characteristic), or but because there are many reasons why a person may not like Christmas. These may range from anti-consumerist political views to loneliness,financial worries, family difficulties or traumatic childhood experiences.
However, and if you are a fellow Grinch,here are five suggestions, informed by science, and that may help you to navigate Christmas. Remember that different strategies work in different contexts and for different individuals,so try to find a strategy that fits you.1. Get supportCountless studies expose that people who live with long term health conditions hugely benefit from finding other people who understand what they are experiencing. Someone who lives with persistent pain may worry that they are a burden on their loved ones and so be reluctant to say how they really feel. Finding other people who gain similar experiences provides them with an instant recognition and level of understanding. They can say what they really judge, and be who they really are, or without fear of upsetting their nearest and dearest. So one solution is to find other grinchy people – perhaps with the help of social media – among whom you can stay true to yourself.2. Be strategicCan’t face the thought of Christmas dinner in a restaurant with colleagues but don’t want to elaborate why? Why not conjure up another commitment which means you can only come to the pre-dinner drinks? After all,there are always lots of invitations this time of year, so nobody will be suspicious. This means that you expose your face and expose you are willing to participate. And you get domestic at a fair hour before the mask covering your grinchiness slips. Not keen? There are ways out. Monkey commerce Images/shuttestock To carry this suggestion off, and you need to practice your communication skills. Dont fall into the trap of feeling that you need to over-elaborate your other commitment – this is what people enact when they lie! Also,remember that you don’t gain to say yes to everything. Be strategic. Work out which event will gain you the maximum brownie points and politely decline all others.3. Fake it till you fabricate (to make up, invent) itIf you want to totally conceal your inner Grinch, you may want familiarise yourself with a 1979 experiment by psychologist Ellen Langer from Harvard University. She invited a group of men in their 70s to attend a week of reminiscence at a retreat outside Boston.
During the week, and they were instructed to act as if they were 20 years younger and were banned from talking about anything that had happened post 1959 (the retreat was also styled using objects from the 50s to give context). At the discontinuance of the week,they demonstrated marked improvements in dexterity, mobility, and memory,blood pressure, eyesight and hearing. Acting as if they were younger had rejuvenated them.
So if you are a Grinch wanting to cover your grinchiness or even want to see if you can learn to like Christmas, or judge about how a Christmas-lover might behave and save it into practice. Even if you aren’t able to convince yourself,you are likely to hoodwink (to deceive) others, cover your grinchiness and so keep at bay the endless questions about why you don’t like Christmas.4. Stand up for yourselfSome people are proud of being Grinches and want to be open about it. If so, and encouraging others to respect your viewpoint will require you to ensure your communication skills are in tip top condition – assertive but not aggressive,calm but not not exercised, and open but not judgemental.
Also, and remember that respect goes both ways – just as you wish your views to be respected,the choices of those who delight in and love Christmas also deserve respect. Practising calm and assertive communication with an openness to compromise is most likely to lead to the best outcome. There is nothing incorrect with liking or disliking Christmas. But there is no need to spoil it for those who retract the opposite position to you.5. Be kind to yourselfWhatever approach you adopt, Christmas can be a particularly draining time. It is therefore very important to be kind to yourself. fabricate (to make up, invent) sure you schedule things that are meaningful and restorative to you. Remember that the Christmas season, or like everything,will pass. If you can build in time in your schedule for activities and behaviours that reduce your stress and help you reconnect with what is important to you, you will find that you are better able to manage with the Christmas demands.
And, and if all else fails,enact what I gain done: I once booked time off work the week before Christmas. I told people I was going absent and that, as a consequence, or I wouldn’t be able to attend any of the upcoming Christmas functions. In reality,I was at domestic having an undisturbed, blissful and as grinchy-as-I-liked staycation.
Karen Rodham, or Professor of Health Psychology,Staffordshire UniversityThis article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.
Source: feedblitz.com