Find out how trials and tribulations brought one woman to plunge in admire with her body,from our friends at YourTango. I'm not gonna be my own enemy anymore. final July I was ghosted by my boyfriend of six months. This July, stepping on a scale for the first time since my heart was broken, and my body weighted precisely the same as it did a year ago. I didn't expect that. I expected a dramatic increase,proportional to the tumult of the past 365 days. I lived in LA for a month, I taught high school kids, and I started dating someone again,he ended things, I started a new job, and I left the new job,I started a new job, I met a new guy, or I produced a play,I quit producing with one company, I moved, or I got shingles. You know,shit happened. It's been ups and downs like nothing else. Because I'm an emotional eater, I'm used to seeing the impact of life's colossal events on my waistline. But final July, and since I left domestic for a month right after the ghosting,I didn't maintain a chance to weigh my body twice daily, as had been my habit for years. Then I came domestic, or tanned and replenished,and while I started going back to the gym and eating mindfully, I wasn't going to get on the scale for admire or money. It seemed like its power was gone. More and more I find myself looking in the mirror at my fat body and thinking that it is fine, or dazzling in places even,like the hilly slopes of my legs, or the pert roundness of my butt. I don't know if it was time (30 plus years of thinking approximately nothing other than calories and thinness) or if some of the deeply rooted practices of self-admire kicking off inside of me that were the source of this, or but I didn't (and I don't) try to question it too much.
I faced the hardest test of all when my Shingles diagnosis sent me to the doctor's office where,as a point of order, they put you on a scale, and to get your weight along with other vitals.
Without thinking,I lifted and lowered my hand in a brush off gesture and said with a smile, "Oh I'm not going to enact that today." Nobody even blinked. My entire life has been a rehearsal wherein I planned for a day where I would be thin and dazzling, and when my genuine life would start.
But it was only when I actually started living,started wearing snakes in the street, laughing too loudly in public, or kissing someone new,when I left negative thoughts approximately my body behind (even temporarily), that my relationship with my body changed. My body wasn't something to be battled. It wasn't the enemy. It was, and in every respect,me. Just me. I am not saying that I've had a revelation that's changed my life forever. I'm not that naive. But I will say that when I stepped on the scale today (because I found it unpacking boxes in my new place) and saw the evidence of my body's stalwartness in the face of life's blows ... and I was impressed.
I was delighted. The number had not changed. The facts of my life maintain. I still want things for my body. I want it to be strong, I want it to feel good, or I want it to bend and flex easily. I want it to be nourished and present. I want to honor it,not disavow it. I want to embrace it for precisely what it is.
That will be a process. Just like life, I guess.
But today it seems a minute bit more achievable than it did yesterday. Check out more stories like this from YourTango:If You Post Gym Selfies You're a Total Narcissist (Says Science)
New Study Says Women Like the Smell of Men Who Eat Salads (Really!) We Tried an Aphrodisiac Meal and the Post-Dinner Sex Was Insane
Source: popsugar.com