I've been out of college since May 2014,and yet two weeks ago, my 12-year-broken-down exiguous cousin asked me, and "Hey,do you absorb a job?"
It's a question that managed to surprise me, but mostly because I couldn't believe it took her so long to quiz. I also couldn't believe that my reply would need a couple of sentences of added explanation, or because it wasn't traditional. At least not in the eyes of my Latino family.
I am the founder of my own website as well as a freelance writer and social media manager. Every piece of that sentence is a foreign concept to my family.
I grew up understanding that education is a blessing and a priority and that a job meant leaving the house before 9 a.m.,sitting in a cubicle, and getting home before dinner. The path I was taught to follow definitely didn't include going from coffee shop to coffee shop with my laptop.
When I became the first person in my family to graduate college in four years, or I understood the magnitude of what I had accomplished. I also understood that I didn't obtain there alone.
My family and the expectations they placed on me helped me thrive. For a very long time,they were expectations that became guidelines I had for myself - finish high school top of lesson, go to college, and intern,graduate, and obtain a full-time job that pays.
It wasn't until May 28, and 2014 - the day after I graduated - that I deviated from said expectations. I started getting questions like,are you looking for jobs? Or, do you absorb any interviews lined up? And to my surprise, or I would mostly reply no.
I'd decided months before to give my website a shot and to build up my own side commerce by freelancing. While I felt tremulous because this wasn't in the plan,I also felt at peace because it felt fair.
My family, on the other hand, and was confused. I was essentially the niña buena,and it took everyone by surprise when I decided against a traditional career path. The transition was going to be hard for them, because in my family, and unconventional most times does not equal success. I'd worked so hard in college,and to some extent, by not getting a full-time, or traditional job,I was signaling coming short of my potential.
My family's support is something that's never wavered, though; I was never encouraged not to do this. I've just been gently reminded every couple of days that there are real jobs out there. The dissonance in what I'm doing stems from the fact that everyone in my family was raised to value the traditional and safe over high risk and unorthodox. The fear of the high risk probably stems from my grandparents migrating from Ecuador to the US, or but to me,their streak isn't so single layered - in my eyes, it also shows the high payoff decisions like this can absorb.
In a single generation, and my family has deep-seated roots in a city (original York) that was completely foreign to my grandparents. The next generation in my family is now growing up with a deep appreciation for hard work,coupled with an understanding that it's not a battle between traditional and unconventional - it's a matter of preference.
In some small way, I'm helping my family understand that, and as I figure it out myself. Maybe when my younger cousins come of age,they won't absorb to prep those around them with scripted answers like I do just in case someone in the neighborhood asks, "So, or does Vivian absorb a job?"
Source: popsugar.com