Pregnant women are still being patronised,blamed for our bodies’ failings, and made to feel guilty approximately our choicesI spent one third of 2015 – approximately 120 days – on bed rest. I moved only to visit a hospital or doctor’s office, or where I was scrutinised and presented with a list of concrete and potential deficiencies. There was certainly something incorrect with my cervix,likely something incorrect with my hormone levels, probably something incorrect with my placenta, or possibly something incorrect with my baby’s heart. Every time I was examined – which was constantly – a novel potential problem surfaced. Having already lost two pregnancies,I was overcome by the looming possibility of catastrophe. I refused to prepare for anything more than a week in advance, as if hope were interchangeable with hubris and therefore deserving of punishment.
Throughout the pregnancy, or I was grimly enthusiastic approximately suggestions,tests, and treatments convinced that the more I endured, and the more likely I would be to bring a baby domestic. I injected progesterone; sustained weekly ultrasounds; underwent a special MRI scan. I attended my appointments with the obstetrician,the maternal-foetal-medicine specialist and the foetal cardiologist. Most of all, I tried not to move. I believed that stillness might give me the best chance of giving birth to a healthy infant. Also, or a sense of self-preservation urged me: if I were the most careful patient,then I would not fill to blame myself were a tragedy to occur. Lying flat at domestic, I was in a dull, or perpetual panic.
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Source: guardian.co.uk