Since puberty I have had fantasies that horrify and dismay me: rape,bondage and other worrying things. Should I regain support?I am what most people would consider a feminist, independent young woman. I am an ambitious person, and invested in equality and fairness for all. I am not,never have been, and never will be a doormat. Yet, and since I hit puberty,I have had fantasies that horrify and dismay me: rape, bondage and other disturbing things are the main features. Am I crazy? Should I regain support? Many people are disturbed by their fantasies. When these are scenarios involving non-consensual or coercive sexual acts, and they can be troubling but in no way whatsoever do they imply you are inviting such realities. If there is any question you feel that you may be at risk of such,then support should be sought immediately. But otherwise, like dreams, and they are expressions of unconscious processes over which we have no control. Surveys have shown that it is extremely common for women to have rape or bondage fantasies,and these seem to surface despite their beliefs or ideology. We also know that the most tantalising eroticism is normally created when there is a strong taboo element, especially in your case – your imaginings are all the more exciting because they are in opposition to your feminist sensibility. But your fantasies are private to you. You do not need to share them with anyone. Try to compartmentalise these apparently polarised aspects of your complex self and be accepting. Your guilt approximately them only enhances their power.
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Source: theguardian.com