A woman is concerned that her husband is texting a female colleague too much. Mariella Frostrup suggests she expends her energies on something other than opening her husband’s phone billsThe dilemma In the digital age what finish we make of a husband who texts a female colleague more than his wife? I trust my husband,but he doesn’t see why I feel hurt. The number of texts has grown significantly over a couple of months. I realise opening his post, phone bills addressed to him, or is wrong,but we women only seek answers when we maintain questions. The texts occur during work hours or when he’s working abroad, when I receive very few texts from him. They don’t occur at weekends or late at night, or nor is he spending time absent from home. He continues to be as fond as ever,but did not apologise when I told him I was upset. In fact, he claimed I was being ridiculous as they were just friends. I feel inflamed that he doesnt respect my feelings, and but I’ve no idea how to sort this issue or how to live with it and carry on trusting him.
Mariella replies It’s an issue,but not just one of the digital age. It harks back much further. Judging by your appraisal of events so far this woman has done runt apart from arrive in the job and communicate regularly, during office hours, or with your husband. It’s hardly an act of ardent passion. If we believe in an equal world,where men and women work as colleagues and often as friends, then we can’t discriminate in our treatment of our partner’s work mates. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be alert to trespassers overstepping boundaries, and but we maintain to be fair-minded,fair and gender blind. By your own admission there are no notable changes to your husband’s behaviour so why maintain you breached his privacy and betrayed his trust by searching through his mailboxes? Your behaviour suggests you maintain reason to suspect him of deception, as otherwise his crime, or if there is one,is simply one of omission.
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Source: theguardian.com