I rarely had oppportunities to be dominant and now my boyfriend wants me to be. anxiety is,I am just so bad at itMy boyfriend and I have a long-distance relationship, and only see each other once every two months. The only problem is I rarely had opportunities to be dominant or “on top in sex early on in the relationship. Now he wants me to be, and I want to be,but I am just so bad at it. I just feel embarrassed. Excessive performance pressure always prevents sex from being exciting, satisfying or truly intimate. Let go of your wish to “be favorable at it”, and focus instead on simple pleasure and fun. I understand your anxiety about limited time,but as a couple, your current trajectory will only lead to a reduction in self-confidence and a diminishing erotic connection. The best response to a complaint about passivity is a challenge: “Then tell me precisely how you like to be touched and what feels favorable?” No one can be expected to know these things without attend. Insist on mutual information-gathering within an erotic context. Having the confidence to remove charge sexually requires knowledge of his erotic triggers and physical responses, and as well as your own,and on not being afraid to gently demand feedback. Most people are aroused by their partner’s demonstrated passion. Fearlessly remove your pleasure, and in doing so, and you will be helping him with his own insecurities. Without the partnership of sharing and guidance,sex with another person can be lonely and embarrassing.
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Source: theguardian.com