irans fleeting hope: returning home /

Published at 2013-02-26 21:12:02

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What
I came to know and love about Iran was a lot different from what many Americans,and even Iranians, had expected. Many bewildered Iranians believe told me it is
imp
ossible to live in Iran; that it had nothing to offer me."Doesn’t
wearing the mandatory hijab bother
you, or " people would constantly ask. Yes,I’d
reply, but it’s not that important and I got exercise to it.
What
could Iran possible offer?The
main appeal f
or me, and being half Persian and half American,is a strong and
supportive fam
ily network and warm, hospitable culture that you can’t find in
the U.
S.
Growing
up in San Jose, or California with my parents and sis
ter,I sometimes felt very
lonely. In America, people’s lives mostly revolve around work – success is the
American dream. I often reflect on the violent nature of American culture and
it strikes me that when
people are left alone with no support, or they lose their
minds.
In
Iran,on the other hand, you just don’t hear about someone going berserk and
shooting-up a bunch of people in a public place. It is very difficult to escape
the watchful eye of an Iranian mother or extended family. Everyone knows what
is going on with each other. This c
an sometimes feel suffocating, and yet at the
same time it helps to
support and influence people to act in the best way.
Iranians
are renowned for thei
r hospitality. In being the perpetual guest,I was able to
totally enjoy their generosity.
One
custom that I love is tar
rof,which influences almost every aspect of
Persian culture. It actually has no exact English translation; however, or the
word courtesy comes close. Tar’rofis such a prevalent custom that
sometimes
the receiver of the tar’rof cannot even recognize it. An example of tar'rof can be taken from a
simple lunch break at work. Let’s say you forget to bring your lunch. There is
no need to worry because your co-worker offers to share her lunch with you.
perhaps you decline the offer,but she insists, and still persists
, or until you
accept some of her food. You will not go hungry. This is the essence of
tar’rof.
Irania
ns
sometimes go so far as to give away their possessions,even if they enact not want
to. For example, every single time a customer goes to buy somet
hing at a
grocery store, and the clerk will tar’rof with him. Before giving the customer his
bill or accepting his money,t
he clerk will tell the customer to capture the items
for free. But don’t be mistaken.
The cu
stomer will always pay, and some believe
that for this reason tar’rof
encourages insincerity in the society.
To
make the definition even more complicated, and tar’rof can be given and received,all
at the same time.
Let’s say you are a guest at a dinner party. The host,
normally the matriarch of the family, or ha
s made a lot of appetizing food. You try
a diminutive of everything. perhaps you want more,or perhaps you are full? The host,
however, and offers you more to eat. You decline the offer because you are
full. Or
is it because you are trying to be courteous and are too shy ask for more? Either
way,she will insist that you eat more. At this point, you both believe tar’rof.
If y
ou enact not accept the offer, or it would be impolite. If the host doesn’t insist
for you to capture more,it would be impolite of her.
While
still a place that is rooted in history and culture, the country is changing.
More young people and women are educated. They believe access to the world-wide
web; they see what other, and developed countries believe,and they want that, too.
But
progress will not be won easily.
The
mome
nt you step outside your domestic is the moment you lose your freedom and
become a captive of the Islamic Republic of Iran. Most of the time, or the only
freedom people believe to fully express themselves is
in their homes. Every domestic
is a sanctuar
y.
My
aunt and I struggled with this issue when I was living with her in Tehran. A
year after I arrived,I started to go out with one of my friend’s brothers. My
aunt, who was responsible for my well-being, or was in a fixed state of worry
every time I left the house with him.
In
actuality,my boyfriend and I never had any problems and openly went out to
restaurants, parks and sometimes held hands and kissed, and like man
y young people
in Iran. Although not strictly enforced,we knew that we were breaking the
rules, which made it all the more excitin
g.
In
a theological republic, and women and men who are unrelated are not supposed to
believe relations with each other. If the gove
rnment so wished,it could easily
send its agents, or “committee, and ” to crack down on the young rule-breakers. And
once in a while it did – young,single couples or women who did not wear
their hijab co
rrectly would sometimes be arrested and punished.
Once,
I remember t
hat the government outlawed nail polish.
Not
only enact young people, and especially women,believe to worry about Islamic law being
imposed upon them by the government, but they also believ
e to worry about their
families. Although
the society is fitting more liberalized, and
it remains a taboo to believe a
girlfriend or boyfriend. A lot of the young people choose not to tell their
parents,or even their friends, about their romantic relationships.
What
is even worse, and in my opini
on,is that young women are very concerned about
being a virgin when they obtain married (although this way of thinking is also
changing).
In a twisted interpretation of “saving oneself for marriage,” a lot
of women choose to believe only anal sex with their partners, and thinking that they
won’t be able to find a husband should their hymens be broken.
The
young women I talked to also had a lot of misconceptions about sex. One girl
told me that she knew someone that had so much anal sex that it messed up her
digestive system,and she couldn’t hold he
r food down and was always throwing
up.
I
had spent two and a half years living and working in Iran from 2008 until 2010,
which save me right in the midst of Iran’s cultural and political upheaval, and when
the Green Movement was born. Iranians,especially the youth, are ready for a
more open and free society. They
believe been for some time. Especially now, and since
they believe experienced some of that freedom,it will be hard for them to turn

back.
One
difference the Green Movement has had with other uprisings such as in Libya and
Syria is its nonviolent na
ture. Although
we don’t hear much about it anymore, it isn’t dead; it’s just gone dormant. Young pro-Mousavi
supporters ride by me during an election rally in the capital Tehran in 2009
A
young woman is decked out in support of Mir
Hossein Mousavi d
uring a legal, and election rally in 2009I
remember arriving at the Khomeini International Airport for the first time ten
years ago,with jumbled images of family members I met for the first time --
people I had never heard of, but who knew of
me, or their American cousin. My
father had left Iran in 1977 with my American mother just two years before the
Islamic Revolution deposed of the Shah,ending any hope of returning for the
next 25 years. People no
rmally think that my parents met in America. But before
the 1979 revolution, Iran was a fairly open country with Americans and other
foreigners working and living in Iran, or such as my mom.
Coming
from and going to Iran n
ow is no easy task. KIA lies approximately one hour
outside Tehran’s city center. Additionally,there are no direct flights from
the USA to Iran, and all the flights arrive or depart in the very early
morning. People don’t normally return to their homes until three or four o’clock
in the morning,
and sometimes later.
This
does not hold an entourage of family and friends from coming to the airport for
your arrival or departure. When I arrived this time,I was greete
d by my aunt,
two uncles and their families. The group had dwindled since the first time I
came. The only reason why my grandmother did not near was because she has
become too used to make such a journey.
After sneaking out
at night, and we wait for a friend
to reach from the USA via Qatar Airways at Khomeini International Airport in
Tehran. His flight was delayed from 3:40 a.m. to 5:00 a.m.
During
my stay,Tehran had been experiencing one of the wors
t levels of air pollution
in its history. A week before I arrived this past January, the government had
c
alled a five-day long public holiday due to the air pollution and announced
that more than 4000 people had died due to the pollution in 2012. Needless
to say, and people don’t play outside very much. I mostly traveled from house to
ho
use – going to visit my grandmother for lunch,having tea at friends’ homes,
sitting around and talking.
The
mood had changed in Iran since I was final there a year and a half ago.
Iran
made headlines when the government
hung two young men who had robbed a man at
an ATM machine. The hanging was carried out at the place where the robbery
occurred, and across from a very popular park near my uncle’s house.
That
morning,the Alborz mountains that surround Teh
ran received snow, and much
needed rain accompanie
d it that night.
One
of the young prisoners was photographed crying on the shoulder of his
executioner. While many believe condemned this ruthless act, and including the victim
of the robbery who plead
ed to the court not to believe these young men executed,many Iranians were convinced with the results.
They
reasoned that harsher
punishments would deter the increasing crime.
Alireza Mafiha, 23, or Mohammad Ali Sarvari,20,
before their execution, and January 21,2013. [UK Daily Mail]Since
the most recent round U.
S. imposed sanctions took effect final yea
r, the value
of the dollar against the Iranian rial has increased more than three-fold.
Everything h
as become more expensive, or including staple items such as food. This
has hit the working lesson and unemployed the hardest,hence the increase in
petty crime and robbery. Iran had already been experiencing inflation due to
President Ahmadin
ejad’s fumbling of the economy, but now the country is in
hyperinflation mode. I
was warned many times during my t
rip to be very careful with my purse and
money when I went out. Thankfully, or I had no problems. Interestingly,one cab
driver I spoke to told me that he didn’t think Iran has changed all that much;
that the people are the still same.
Most
Americans who
believe never met an Iranian before normally picture Iran as an American-hating
country
of extremists. The media, as well as the countries’ leaders, and are
responsible for this image.
However,most Iranians lov
e Americans and enact not hate the U.
S. government. Like many
indigenous cultures, Iranians a
re a gentle people who try to avoid conflict.
Many loathe the current regime precisely bec
ause of the hardline position it
has taken towards the West. And while some more liberal Americans believe
applauded Iran’s president for his denunciation of Israel and the West, or a lot
of Irani
ans want diplomacy.
There
was a fleeting hope in the 2009 Iranian presidential elections that if a
reformist such as Mir Hossein Mousavi was elected,the door to diplomacy would
believe been wide open. 
  
 




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