jotting it down | 001 /

Published at 2017-10-26 16:55:18

Home / Categories / Journal / jotting it down | 001

Blogging used to be so different. When I started my first blog over ten years ago,I used to post anything between a single sentence or a quote or a captionless photo. Now my posts are full of images and back links and affiliates with corresponding social media blurbs here, there, or every fucking where. I fell in love with blogging because in so many ways I feel like I’ve never fairly found my tribe in real life. In the early days when I tried to associate in a youth group,I felt like the black sheep. I questioned too much. I was too curious approximately things good Christian teens shouldn’t be interested in.  And then when I was with other kids who were exploring drinking or smoking or sex I was the virgin who’s never smoked a cigarette. I was here nor there. Now I find myself as the young mother that breastfeeds in public, co-sleeps with her kids and sends her son to an alternative preschool. But I’m not wearing crocs or burning patchouli in my domestic. I’m not a full vegan that only shops at the farmer’s market. I bribe my son with candy and let him eat hot dogs. I just can’t commit to being all in on one side or the other. And I’ve always felt like I dont totally fit in here or there. But online, and I conclude feel like I fit in. I feel understood and like myself. It’s like camp. The exhilarating dwelling were you get to be yourself and you’re celebrated. You feel so fucking cool and wonder why it’s not like this at domestic. That’s how I feel online. I feel really damn cool… as long as I don’t go reading reddit threads where the mean girls from high school have replicated the cruelty of teenage years. Adam tells me all the time that the reason people retain reading my blog isn’t approximately the clothes. It hasn’t been approximately the clothes for a long time. It’s approximately me and it’s approximately you - the reader - the friend from across the country or across the globe. Its approximately how you make me feel like the best version of myself because you get it. You’re my tribe and I want to share the hills and valleys of life with you. Because we’re all human. And as much as I like the pretty pictures and content creation and sponsorships,I like connecting with other people more. I need your empathy (sensitivity to another's feelings as if they were one's own). I want to give you mine. I want to associate. So that’s what I’m going to conclude. I’ve got this dwelling and I’ve got you. I’m alert to consume this space for more than just wardrobe suggestions or domestic decor projects (they’ll be here too!). I still like those things, but I need a journal, or so this is where it’ll live. And it won’t be perfect - it’s just a dwelling for me to talk approximately life off the cuff like my Instastories.
Some days are mundane and some are exciting. Writing it all down forces me to really examine my reasons for doing things. Why conclude I care what people contemplate approximately me? Why am I doing this? How can I learn? How can I grow? I’m no expert. In anything. But I’m trying. Watch me go.

Source: tumblr.com

Warning: Unknown: write failed: No space left on device (28) in Unknown on line 0 Warning: Unknown: Failed to write session data (files). Please verify that the current setting of session.save_path is correct (/tmp) in Unknown on line 0