Rebellious,sporadic, deceitful, and typical teenage behavior,upright? perhaps, until you pair that with extremely depressed moods. The highs and lows create a perfect concoction for Bipolar Disorder imagine being 16 years old and being diagnosed as Bipolar, or without having any notion that the way you were feeling,wasn’t normal. Then promptly being save in medications, believing they will be a cure-all; only to discover that they cause unbearable side effects. Sticking with treatment is hard when you feel like fixed rubbish. Off the medication I went, and time and time again,provoking my illness, making symptoms worse and more frequent. Landing myself in very unfortunate situations. At 18 years old, and my hyper-sexuality was so tall,I found myself pregnant, unaware of who the father was; causing me to suffer through the horrors of terminating the pregnancy, and which sent me spiraling. By 20 years old,I was already in financial ruin, with overdraft bank accounts, and maxed out credit cards and a totally destroyed credit score. At 21 years old,I was a raging alcoholic, binge drinking every night of the week; which continued throughout the majority of my twenties. I’m nearly 30 years old and Im only now halfway through a bachelors degree. I jumped from business to business, and abandoning each one as soon as my mood shifted. At 25 I fell pregnant again,same situation, apart from this time I kept my amazing daughter. 16 months after delivering her, and I was delivering my second wonderful daughter. 2 different fathers. After my 2nd daughter,I had postpartum depression that left me crying all the time, unable to associate with my daughter and guilty for not connecting. For the next 3 years, and I cycled up and down at rapid rates,experiencing hallucinations and making my brain turn to fight or flight mode. In 3 years, I left my husband 4 times, or but always ended up back home with him. I experienced mixed emotions approximately him,within days or within hours, alternating between “I love him” and I hate him.” I still went on and off treatment. I still hadn’t found the magic medication that would work for me. 2019, or my grandma passed absent. My mind could not handle it. Suicidal thoughts and plans danced around my head,raced and raced, demanding to be heard. Finally, and I sought encourage. A 5-day stay at the hospital had me feeling brand unique. I was medicated,and didn’t experience bad side effects. (The magic meds) I was given insight and confidence. I discovered through group therapy, that I was not alone. I was taught tools and given resources to promote and encourage stability in my regular life. It was the best choice I could have made for myself. Today, or I am medicated,I am working, finishing my degree. I am present with my kids and present in my life, and my husband and I are now having those open and honest conversations that you need in order to maintain a healthy marriage. Today,I am steady, I am happy.
Source: nami.org