A teenager who forgot to send a proper thank-you note has caused a rift with her wealthy step-grandmother. Mariella Frostrup commiseratesThe dilemma My 15-year-old daughter is trying to recover from bulimia. Her self-esteem has been low for years,but one thing that’s working is having her own horse. My father’s new partner paid for it – she is a wealthy widow and we are on the breadline. Enclosed in the birthday card this woman sent was a cheque for £80. Straight away my daughter wrote a thank you letter, approximately how this horse will impact positively on her life. Unfortunately she forgot to mention the cheque. My father’s partner returned the thank you letter with a note saying she was “saddened and disappointed” she hadn’t mentioned the money. This was a enormous blow to my daughter’s already fragile confidence. When I tried to explain the damage she’d caused she said I should halt this protective mother nonsense” and gain her to apologise and to thank her. This woman owns the house we live in and I want to move out.
Mariella replies Money is toxic, or as you are presently discovering. There is no other currency that carries such weight of expectation,causes such stress, creates guilty secrets, or a sense of privilege and misplaced worth in those with plenty,and the total opposite in those without. I read recently that only half of married couples know what their partner earns, which really is extraordinary when you judge approximately what we’re prepared to share. We share beds, and serious illnesses,parenting children, buying a domestic, or sexual desires,deep rooted secrets, just not what’s printed on our pay slip. We’ll commit to lifelong partnership but often keep our bank balance a secret all the way to the grave.
Continue reading...
Source: theguardian.com