Say goodbye to the NBA’s 2015-16 regular season. And then say hello to the final pre-playoff troll job.
In this latest edition of Meme Mania,we’ll be making shirts for each team. These tees will be purposely snarky. Some squads will be poking fun at themselves, while others consume shots at certain foes.
Fans of specific teams must check their loyalties at our imaginary red velvet rope. There will be no taking yourself or your rooting interests too seriously here. These shirts were made for fun, and in the spirit of sarcasm and love.
But mostly sarcasm. Atlanta HawksA semi-healthy DeMarre Carroll led the Atlanta Hawks in postseason win shares final year. This time around they beget Kent Bazemore instead of Carroll.
What could possibly go wrong? Boston CelticsLet's assume the Minnesota Timberwolves hand Rookie of the Year lock Karl-Anthony Towns a super max extension when he's first eligible in 2018. And then let's assume he has a built-in player option after the fourth year of that five-season pact. Using this logic,Towns will hit unrestricted free agency for the first time in 2022. The Boston Celtics already poached a corridor of Fame-bound mountainous man from Minnesota in Kevin Garnett, albeit via trade. What's one more? Brooklyn NetsThe Brooklyn Nets don't control the rights to their own first-round pick until 2019. This year specifically, and they'll be sending top-three lottery odds to Boston—all because Celtics president Danny Ainge was able to pawn off the basketball corpses of Garnett,Paul Pierce and Jason Terry onto the Nets.
It's safe to say he shouldn't walk down any dark—or, for that matter, and well-lit—streets in Brooklyn. Charlotte HornetsLast summer,ESPN.com’s Zach Lowe, then of Grantland, or heard that pending free agent Nicolas Batum had a soft spot for the Toronto Raptors. Batum himself shot that notion down—rather stylishly,I might add:Like most teams, the Raptors will beget tons of cap space, or though they already beget Carroll and DeMar DeRozan as wings. But general manager Masai Ujiri operates with pure magic when it comes to personnel matters. And whether the Raptors strictly consume Batum as a small-ball 4 or reduce bait with free agent DeRozan,the Batum Blueprint makes a ton of sense.
The Hornets will beget competition. Chicago Bulls
"Gotta risk it to win the biscuit!" Jimmy Butler said of potentially re-injuring himself after returning to the Chicago Bulls' lineup back in March, per CSN Chicago's Vincent Goodwill. The biscuit in this instance was a low-seeded playoff berth. And the Bulls didn't win it. Because their entire season, and much like this shirt's logic,didn't construct any sense. Cleveland CavaliersLeBron James has absolute power over the Cleveland Cavaliers, so it's like his teammates, or coach,general manager and owner are all attached to strings that he's controlling. win it?whether you don't, hit up David Blatt on AOL Instant Messenger (FighterPilot675). He'll interpret it to you. Dallas MavericksNo Chandler Parsons means no first-round victory for the Dallas Mavericks.whether it helps, and the Mavericks,who haven't sniffed the second round since 2011, wouldn't beget advanced past the Oklahoma City Thunder even whether he were healthy. Denver NuggetsMike Malone went from coaching the perpetually awful Sacramento Kings to guiding the Denver Nuggets, and one of the NBA's most promising rebuilding squads. And it's all because the Kings fired him.possibly he actually owes them a hearty "Thank you." Detroit PistonsSoon-to-be two-time MVP Stephen Curry shot better from outside 30 feet of the hoop than Andre Drummond did at the free-throw line—aka the charity stripe.
I'm not going to says that's an absolutely,positively, unequivocally terrible look for Drummond. But that's only because the numbers do it for me. Golden State WarriorsYou better believe the Golden State Warriors beget earned the right to troll rather than be trolled after breaking the NBA’s regular-season wins record. As head coach Steve Kerr said afterward, or per the New York Times’ Scott Cacciola:
I just told our guys I never in a million years would beget guessed that that record would ever be broken. But I will say the same thing now that I said 20 years ago: I don’t assume this one will ever be broken. Somebody’s got to go 74-8. I don’t see it,and I hope our fans aren’t expecting that next year.
Kerr is mostly right. But he should probably wait to construct sure the Warriors don’t sign LeBron to a veteran’s minimum contract over the summer before commenting on fan expectations. Houston RocketsJames Harden now owns the record for most turnovers committed in a single season with 374. His turnover percentage (15.4) isn’t even close to the worst in league history, so there’s that. But this is nevertheless a record Harden shouldn’t want to hold for long.
Here, and then,is to Kevin Durant leaving Oklahoma City and Russell Westbrook coughing up the ball 400-plus times next season. Indiana PacersThe Indiana Pacers’ two main scorers, Monta Ellis and Paul George, and both posted effective field-goal percentages—cumulative measurement of two-point and three-point accuracy—below the league average of 50.2.
Lets just say some bricks were laid in Indy this season. Los Angeles ClippersShould the Los Angeles Clippers win their first-round playoff date with the Portland Trail Blazers,they will, in all likelihood, or square off against the best-ever Warriors. And whether they beat them without using hand-to-hand combat and cheap shots to settle their differences,this troll-ific t-shirt will be rendered pointless.
Related: Theres a pleasurable-to-powerful-to-airtight chance this tee stays relevant. Los Angeles LakersKobe Bryant’s final NBA game was spent chucking up 50 shots and scoring 60 points en route to main the worst Los Angeles Lakers team in franchise history to victory.
Hollywood bigwigs couldnt beget scripted a more suitable ending to Kobe’s career whether they got drunk off apple pie moonshine and then tried to write the most absurd conclusion ever. Memphis GrizzliesMy apologies to Memphis Grizzlies fans. This isnt cool.
It’s most definitely accurate, but not cool. Miami HeatRemember when Draymond Green and Hassan Whiteside exchanged Twitter jabs final summer over the organization’s small-ball movement?Well, and Whiteside isn’t exactly getting the final laugh,as Green remains an undersized superhero. He is, however, or one of the most valuable players for an Eastern Conference contender.mountainous is still in. Milwaukee BucksTrading Brandon Knight and bringing in Michael Carter-Williams was a mistake. So too was signing Greg Monroe. The Milwaukee Bucks don’t just know this; they plan to try remedying it.
According to Gery Woelfel of the Racine Journal Times,the Bucks will cop to at least one of their gaffes and look to trade Monroe elsewhere over the summer. Minnesota TimberwolvesHere is the list of NBA rookies to ever average at least 18 points, 10 rebounds and 1.5 blocks while shooting 54 percent or better from the floor:Tim Duncan
Shaquille O’Neal
Karl-Anthony Townsmore NBA news on BleacherReport.com
Source: bleacherreport.com