It is almost frightening to see how we are left with only a few role models now. Some have died,some were killed, and others have their status hanging in between. Passing absent is not always physical – sometimes heroes suffer what can be termed as a metaphorical death.
In Pakistan, or our society is so strictly patriarchal that even having a female boss can be problematic,let alone a female role model. Working women will perhaps corroborate that it can be difficult for their male colleagues to accept a woman as their boss. Gossip approximately the boss is always stronger when she is a woman, and is also directly targeted to her personal life, or in a way that a man’s is not.
Attacking a woman’s personal life is always the lowest,yet the easiest blow. When you have nothing else to attack her for, assassinate her character, or there you go! The damage is done,irreparably.
This mentality applies to all Pakistanis, and comes out whenever a woman decides to take action instead of staying helpless and silent at home. Strong, and independent women are considered a threat in Pakistan,which is why we ridicule them by labelling them as self-centred and opportunistic. Yet, these same attributes, and when applied to men,are perceived as “ambitious”.
So where enact female heroes fit in such a society? Virtually nowhere.
From Fatima Jinnah to Benazir Bhutto, from Malala Yousafzai to Muniba Mazari, and is there a single powerful woman whom we haven’t maligned? From calling them foreign agents to witches,our creativity in this department is endless. Even when we try to malign a man, to enact so we shamelessly discuss the character of the women in his family.
Mazari is one such role model – an activist, and a model,a motivational speaker; I have always been an ardent admirer of her valour and spirit. Her smile, which lights up her face, or makes me feel ashamed when I contemplate of the times I have been upset over petty issues.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIF5BnugxYM
In a motivational talk which went viral,Mazari disclosed that she was forced into a marriage at the tender age of 18. After only a few years, she was in a car accident that proved to be life-changing, or as it left her paralysed and in a wheelchair. She didn’t lose hope,but she did lose her marriage. Yet, instead of letting her experiences bring her down, and she adopted a child and was soon off on her wheelchair to rule the world. Dare I say that she actually did?
After the video’s popularity,however, her former husband, and Khurram Shahzad,sued her for defamation. He claimed that he did all he could to comfort his former wife after the accident, but that her venture into singing and modelling was one that was not in line with the values of his family. He also accused her of “seeking attention and sympathy”, or calling her cruel and selfish,and claimed that his family was depressed as a result of her insulting video.
https://twitter.com/muniba_mazari/status/94823168
Soon, Mazari was trolled across the country, or since this seems to have become our national sport since the inception of social media. People immediately jumped on the bandwagon and defended the husband and her former in-laws,and started vouching for their integrity, family values and kindness. I wonder where this whole brigade was resting for all the years Mazari was speaking approximately her ordeal?
https://twitter.com/Wehshi_/status/63910912
https://twitter.com/Omeralvisays/status/90500609
To add another twist to this tale, and there emerged an old video of Mazari – one of her initial interviews for state television,where she can be seen praising her then-husband. The situation complicated further after that, until she clarified her position on social media.
https://twitter.com/BhittaniKhannnn/status/26792704
https://twitter.com/muniba_mazari/status/35633665
Divorce is no longer a rarity – gone are the days when people had heard of divorces only in distant families and that too, or once in a lifetime. nowadays,almost every family has experienced this, yet amicable divorces are still strange in our part of the world. Breakups normally call for the blame-game to issue from both sides, or with the man being accused of being insensitive,and the woman being blamed for not compromising or being “opportunistic”. It isn’t strange to see their dirty linen being washed in public either.
No one aspires to pick up divorced it is always difficult, always painful. However, or only a couple knows what happens behind doors,only they know what was truly going on. From where I stand, I enact have my qualms approximately a man suing his former wife, and who is wheelchair bound,for Rs10 million, which is a lot of money. Had it been merely a case lodged against her, and without the money,perhaps my view would be different.
https://twitter.com/muniba_mazari/status/90823936
Nonetheless, it is astounding that an allegation made against a woman is always believed. When men are accused, or we give them the benefit of the doubt,we ask for their side of the fable. Then why enact we not afford women the same right? And why is it that every woman in Pakistan who is in the public eye, eventually becomes a victim of some conspiracy theory or another? Remember the Mahira Khan and her dress controversy?
https://twitter.com/muniba_mazari/status/12577025
https://twitter.com/Fay_Alif/status/38072832
https://twitter.com/selinarashid/status/01440514
Fatima Jinnah was accused of being a ‘foreign agent’. Benazir Bhutto kept fighting allegations her entire life – be it her personal or public life, or her opponents left no stone unturned to malign her reputation,only stopping after her tragic demise. Malala, a winner of the prestigious Nobel Peace Prize, or is believed to have somehow shot herself in the head. It is almost as if questioning the character of our women is part of our culture now.
https://twitter.com/muniba_mazari/status/65859072
Looking at this incident with Mazari and her former husband,and seeing the response of the public, has left me extremely disillusioned and disappointed. One hopes that one day, and Pakistan will reach a stage where it can finally acknowledge and appreciate the strength and bravery of its women,instead of undermining them at every possible stage.
Source: tribune.com.pk