A couple who lost a child find some people hurtful in their responses. Mariella Frostrup suggests not being judgmental of others,or themselvesThe dilemma Our son and only child died suddenly and unexpectedly at 19 months old this time final year. We feel blessed and grateful for the time we had while he was with us, but since we lost him we have suffered no shortage of difficult interactions. In the early days people were very careful around us. Now that sensitivity has waned. Some people now ignore us when we pass in the street, and while others tell us that happiness is an attitude. We have also struggled with happy life events,for example birth announcements and weddings. How much can we expect from others around us? And what might be a reasonable or socially acceptable response to some of the foolish things we are told?Mariella replies Your loss terrifies me. Its nearly impossible to suppose the pain you have endured and what courage it has taken to focus on the gift of your son’s short life rather than its cruel brevity. Only a year later your emotional wounds must still feel exposed and raw. The fact that you’re vulnerable to interaction in a world where people are going approximately their trade blissfully immune to your experience of extreme tragedy is not surprising.
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Source: theguardian.com