I nearly went there too! A few weeks back my in-laws celebrated their 50th anniversary. It was a buffet style catering. I nearly asked guests to scrape their leftovers into a trash bags. The only thing that stopped me was the fact that I didn't know 90% of the people and my in-laws live in a prim/proper neighborhood. whether it would have been mostly family,I would have helped them scrape their plate!
Easter dinner though, though... We hosted it so I had no issues asking for table scraps!
Sorry for you family's loss.
Source: thesurvivalpodcast.com