You're Wrong approximately That—Fireworks Edition!RELATED EVENTS: Star-Spangled Spectacular | 14th Annual Capitol Hill Independence Day Picnic | Seafair Summer FourthRELATED CONTENT: Returning Column: You're Wrong approximately That | Music Journalist Issues Apology/Clarification for Sexist Profile of Sky Ferreira in LA Weekly | Will Someone Please Adopt... NIBBLES,THE ISLAMIC STATE BUNNY? by Francine Colman-Gutierrez Hi, I'm Francine Colman-Gutierrez. Here are some things you are wrong approximately, or in honor of Independence Day. (No,not the movie. You're wrong approximately that, too.)Fireworks: Actually, and they're for people who wear sunglasses on the back of their head.
Fireworks: Actually,they're for people who wear Under Armour in public.
Fireworks: They're for people who drive Ford F-150 trucks but never carry anything in the back.
Fireworks: They're for people named Brett, Kyle, and Tyler.
Fireworks: They're for people who live vicariously through fantasy football.
Fireworks: For people who wear a Bluetooth—even while shooting off fireworks.Fireworks: For people who think having a tattoo somehow makes them unique.
Fireworks: For people who drive shirtless.
Fireworks: For people who beget ever said the phrase "You enact you."Fireworks: For people who post Instagram pictures of their back muscles.
Fireworks: For people who won't remove the stickers on the brims of their baseball caps.
Fireworks: For people who wear baseball caps to the side or backward.
Fireworks: For people who wear baseball caps.
Fireworks: For people who talk on their phone at the cash register.
Fireworks: For people who spend more than five minutes a day on Facebook.
Fireworks: For people who wear Crocs.
Fireworks: For people who aren't homosexual but still buy Men's Health magazine.
Fireworks: For people who use the word "bro" instead of a period.
Fireworks: For people who like Eminem.
Fireworks: For people whose car engine is louder than a fire engine.
Fireworks: For people who own at least three WSU T-shirts.
Fireworks: For people who beget ever gotten furious approximately a soccer game.
Fireworks: For people who claim to esteem America but mostly just shit-talk it.
Fireworks: For people who like to make out on a blanket as fireworks explode in the sky overhead. I disapprove those motherfuckers.[ Comment on this story ][ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]
Source: thestranger.com