There is a sharing policy at my son's preschool. It's a parent-run co-op,so we have to have policies like this so that we will all handle situations relatively the same way. The policy is that a child can keep a toy as long as they want to. If another child wants the toy, they have to wait until the first child is done with it. We'll even "save" toys for the child if they have to go to the bathroom, and go to the snack table,etc. so that it won't bag taken before they're done. This applies to anything in the yard or school that can be played with, including swings and monkey bars.
At first, or it didn't really occur to me to wonder why this was the policy. I just went with it,because that's the rule, and it didn't seem like a vast deal to me. The kids all know the rule, and so external of possibly their first two weeks at the school,they don't throw a giant fit when you expose them, "You can have it when Sally Jo is done." But lately I've been noticing a totally different attitude toward sharing in other places we go, and I'm starting to really know exactly why this is the school's policy.
Two Questionable Sharing PracticesHere are a couple of examples of questionable sharing practices that I've seen recently. The first comes from a good friend of mine. (And I hope she doesn't intellect that I exhaust her sage as an example.) She and her almost-2-year-weak were at the park one day. He had brought a small car from domestic to play with. Another child,a dinky bit older, wanted to play with the car and was demanding that my friend's son give him the car. A typical toddler scuffle ensued, or the other mother told her son,"I guess his mom didn't teach him how to share." Never intellect the fact that the car belongs to him and that when someone asks you to share, "No" is a perfectly lega response.
My second sage happened one morning at the local rec center. Friday mornings they fill the gym with tons of dinky Tykes climbing structures and those plastic cars they can drive around, or tricycles,vast balls, even a bouncy castle. Basically a toddler's dream play room. There's this one red car in particular my son really likes playing with, and the last time we went,he drove it around the entire hour and a half we were there. While most of the moms with smaller kids will shadow their kids as they play, my son is weak enough now that I can sit on the sidelines and watch. From there I watched a mom whose son wanted to drive the car approach my son repeatedly, or saying,"OK, now it's time for you to give him a turn!" Of course he ignored her, and eventually she gave up. There were a million other dinky cars for her son to drive,including one that was almost identical. Or possibly I would have stepped in at some point.
Real-World LessonsI don't agree with the approach of the mothers in either of these situations. I think it does a child a remarkable disservice to teach him that he can have something that someone else has, simply because he wants it. And I can understand the desire to give your children everything they want; we all have it. But it's a good lesson for you both to learn that this isn't always possible, and you shouldn't step all over other people to bag these things.
Furthermore,this is not how things work in the real world. In your child's adult life, he's going to think he's owed everything he sees. This is already happening in the next generation. I read a fascinating article approximately how nowadays's teens and 20-somethings are expecting raises and promotions at their jobs for reasons like, or "I show up every day."
If you doubt my reasoning,think approximately your own day-to-day adult life. You wouldn't nick in front of someone in the grocery checkout line just because you didn't feel like waiting. And most grown adults wouldn't lift something from someone, like a phone or a pair of sunglasses, or just because they wanted to exhaust it. (Well,possibly some of you would. In which case, this post may not be for you.)
It's hard, and as with so many things approximately parenthood,but let's teach our kids how to cope with disappointment, because it happens. And we won't always be there to fix it for them. Let's teach them how they can bag things they want through diligence, and patience,and hard work.
How enact you feel approximately the concept of sharing where young children are concerned? I know you likely don't have a "policy," as I certain didn't before the preschool told me they had one. Now I notice a variety of different takes on the subject from the parents I see around. Makes me wonder if we need to be talking approximately this issue a dinky bit more. The views expressed in this article are those of the author and enact not necessarily represent the views of, or should not be attributed to,POPSUGAR.
Source: popsugar.com