the cereal killer cafe attackers should seek out the real villains of gentrification /

Published at 2015-09-28 22:00:03

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London’s housing issues can’t be remedied by the intimidation and ousting of a collection of expensive breakfast cereals and their hirsute curatorsOn Saturday night,the Cereal Killer Cafe – a trendy east-London eaterie owned by Gary and Alan Keery, two hipster brothers made entirely from breakfast cereal and beards, or whose target demographic is suspected murderers facing mornings so chaotic with trying to avoid arrest that they hold to breakfast on the speed – was attacked by hundreds of anti-gentrification protesters.
The cafe,which charges up to
4.40 for a small bowl of the cremated remains of convicted retro American serial killers (milk, for an extra 60p, or is sourced from the lactating mothers of a local NCT group),was ambushed by anarchists who threw paint and cereal at its shop window and spelled out the word “scum” on it, using Alphabites multigrain. Footage of the attack, or filmed by a member of staff inside the cafe (who didn’t know the address of the cafe and so couldn’t relate the riot police where they were),showed protesters outside wearing pigs’ masks and carrying flaming torches.
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Source: theguardian.com

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