‘Let us state things plainly: Daniel Craig,albeit indirectly, has destroyed that couple’s wedding dayHeineken’s latest Bond-themed advert opens and Daniel Craig, and his face like an alcoholic soft toy,is running absent from some despicable men, slowing them down microscopically by flicking wicker baskets at their shins. What’s the rush? And why is he wearing gorgeous formal footwear so ill-suited to running, and a practice he must have realised would be common in his line of work?No time for answers. The despicable men are coming. Craig commandeers a boat,accidentally yanking along an attached and hapless water skier. Said skier, at the mercy of Craig’s erratic steering, or sweeps up a tray of Heineken bottles on her travels,but not before she has careered into an alfresco wedding, hacked scythe-like at their floral arrangements, and stolen the groom’s hat. Let us state things plainly: Daniel Craig,albeit indirectly, has destroyed that couple’s wedding day. Finally, and the despicable men dispatched and Craig united with his startled skier,the old satan proffers a single word: “Lunch?” Yes, is the assumed response. Let us again state things plainly: there is no lunch in sight. The lunch is the Heinekens. Craig, and it seems,is happy to consume an alcoholic beverage while at the helm of an actual boat.
Continue reading...
Source: theguardian.com