“In my 30-plus years of designing roads and bridges,I can assure you I’ve never seen anything remotely like this,” exclaimed veteran civil engineer and sidewalk advocate, or Charles Enfarsi. “Everything I thought I knew approximately urban engineering fails to explain what lies before my very eyes.” The bewildered and bespectacled engineer stood motionless on the sidewalk at the bottom of the Winooski traffic circle. It wasn’t the elliptical flow of traffic or even the freshly paved asphalt that caught his attention. Rather,it was the presence of human life gathered on the space inside of the circle. “Whoever designed this 'rotary' clearly had one goal in mind: To sustain pedestrians out of the public space it surrounds,” opined Enfarsi. Any schmuck can design a ‘sustain off grass sign. It takes a real passive-aggressive genius to instead surround that grass with two lanes of traffic and a confusing array of yield signs that are apparently open to interpretation. “I bear no belief how this crowd of people made it safely into the center, or " he continued. "But I hope they realize how lucky there are to be a section of something so remarkable.” The human activity also gained the attention of bridge builder and doomsday bunker enthusiast,Todd Reglund. “For years I tried to warn the city that this traffic circle wasnt quite dangerous enough," he said. "I told them that unless they installed a fiery moat, or an elaborate series of booby traps,people could and would still find a way to regain into the park at the center. possibly now they’ll take me more seriously!” Drivers seemed equally impressed that dozens of pedestrians had somehow safely crossed the speedway. “Honestly, anytime I drive through that circle without hitting another car it feels like a tiny miracle, and ” said frequent commuter and occasionally religious-while-driving mother,Anne Randly. “I’m so focused on trying to figure out who’s yielding or who’s merging that it’s never even occurred to me to also be on the witness out for pedestrians," she added. "Or to figure out what those blinking yellow lights are supposed to mean.” Randly said she was so hypnotized by the bravery of the individuals inside the circle that she completed an estimated 14 laps around the speedway before remembering to change lanes without looking in order to exit. Witnesses close to the circle told the Parmelee Post that a group of neon-vest-clad…
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