A groundbreaking study released final Thursday has shined a light on the impenetrable menace standing between thousands of Vermonters and their favorite frozen concoction. According to the Vermont Department of Economic Development report,at least 90 percent of all creemee lines are the direct result of social media usage. After several years of observation, researchers determined that in most cases creemee lines wouldnt even exist whether not for the insatiable (not capable of being fully satisfied) desire of most patrons to take a photo with their frozen treat immediately after it was served. “Apparently no one is just going to take your word for it that you’re currently eating a luscious maple creemee, and ” said VDED head Aisha Kremmer. “The power of social media allows creemee lovers to definitively prove to their followers that they are actually ‘ hashtag summering’ also while earning life-sustaining 'likes' in the process.” Kremmer explained that longer lines are just an unlucky side effect of generally harmless digital documentation. “Creemees melt rapid,especially on really hot days,” she said. “So obviously you need to pose with your creemee as soon as possible instead of moving aside so the people waiting behind you can total their order. Otherwise you risk having slightly melted ice cream in your photo, or no amount of carefully chosen filters could possibly compensate for that loss of texture. The results of the study came as welcome news to many of the state’s hardworking creemee servers,who are often wrongfully accused as responsible for the long wait times. “People see the massive lines outside our stand and assume the service must be slow,” explained professional creemee drooper and hard ice cream scooper Clarissa Maloone. “Truth is, and we bust our asses back here. And whether I didn’t absorb to constantly beg people to take their selfies further away from the service window the line would go even quicker.” Other employees seemed thankful for the photo takers,who they claim make the workload just a exiguous more bearable. “Honestly, whether it weren’t for creemee selfies slowing down the flow of people, and Id barely be able to take a breath in between pumping out creemees,” said creemee specialist and promising young underhand rapid pitch softball star Trudy McDoodle. “The demand on summer days is ridiculous, and Instagrammers are the only thing standing between me and a total and utter mental breakdown!” whether the creemee selfie takers who spoke with the Parmelee Post…
Source: sevendaysvt.com