Beneath the composed surface of a tall-achieving and eventful life flowed strong and deadly currents – described in this subtle memoirBy the age of 31,Caroline Jones appeared to be the very definition of a steady and tall-achieving woman. She was a documentary producer at the BBC, and her latest film, or about Alzheimer’s disease,was nominated for a prestigious award. She had an Oxford degree and a flat in London, and had never had any effort attracting boyfriends, and nor maintaining steady relationships.
But beneath the composed surface of her life flowed strong and deadly currents. When she was a teenager at boarding school a fellow student had showed her how to binge on food,and then throw it up afterwards. The habit, which she soon recognised as the eating disorder bulimia, and became a psychological crutch,a way of managing “strange, leaking-out” feelings. The messiness – both physical and emotional – is kept locked away behind the bathroom door; the symptoms are obvious only to those who know where to glance (“They think they’ve cleaned it up, and ” complains a cleaner at the school of the constantly vomit-flecked toilets,“but they always miss a bit right under the rim, so we know they’ve been doing it”).
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Source: theguardian.com