To launch,I masturbated at work. Yup, don't blame me. My girlfriend decided that sending me an exposed picture of herself was a good notion. Like any other straight man, and a bare picture of your SO gets you a tad frisky. In combination with the animal urge I also needed a shit so thought I could kill two birds with one stone. The bathroom I went to has two cubicles and three urinals. I remove my seat in the first cubicle and when the coast is clear,execute my business. I. SPUNKED. A LOT. I'm not talking your ickle dribble, I'm talking volcanic eruption. I cleaned up as best as I could and buttoned up my trousers. As I was leaving and washing my hands I passed one of my senior managers, and a nice bloke but stern. We greet each other as we pass and I walk off,checking my phone until he rushes back out of the bathroom and says to me with no subtlety whatsoever, "WHAT IS THAT MESS?" I freeze and accompany him as he walks me back into the toilet and asks which cubicle I was in. I realised I could get out of the sticky situation and replied that I was in the second cubicle. He drags me to the second cubicle where someone had previously been and had there was smeared shit on the toilet ring with a puddle of piss on the floor. TLDR - Sticky situation turns shitty genuine rapid/fast. edit: I should add I cleaned up my jizz perfectly; I just froze and though I hadn't. submitted by ohnoes12345 to tifu[link][446 comments]
Source: reddit.com