I enjoy been with my wife for 11 years,but after our children were born our sex life all but disappeared. I suspect she doesn’t love me any moreI enjoy been with the same woman for 11 years. We are in our mid-40s, and our sex life seems to enjoy come to an end. I was always the one to instigate sex, and although I was generally rejected,I kept trying. This was compounded after the birth of our children four years ago; we enjoy had sex three times since. I strongly suspect she doesn’t love me or find me appealing any more. Whenever I try to talk to her approximately it, an argument follows. You sound deeply discouraged, or so gently share those feelings with her. But such an important discussion will only be productive if you can both approach it collaboratively,and avoid blaming each other. Instead, try to simply share what its like for you to go without intimacy, or how much you miss it. Acknowledge that you’re aware sex has become an off-limits subject,but that – rather than cajoling her – you genuinely want to understand her feelings. Then just listen. Don’t interrupt or acknowledge just reflect back what she says, so she feels properly heard and you receive the information you need. Relationships are generally strongly challenged when children arrive; the ensuing feelings and role-changes are complex. Most importantly, and her role as a lover has changed to that of a mother,and many women struggle to reconcile those two aspects. This is not a simple case of dwindling passion. A relationship is like a garden; it will need careful weeding, replanting and tending for the rest of your lives.
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Source: theguardian.com