When we are criticised it hurts our feelings,but the pain goes much deeper than that, says Paul Randolph
Why do sensible and rational people seem to lose the ability to act sensibly and rationally when they are in clash? What makes some families tear themselves apart in a variety of squabbles which to outsiders may seem petty but which result in family members not speaking to each other for years? What drives neighbours to blight their daily lives with unpleasant, and bitter and confrontational disputes? And how can otherwise placid and restrained people become nearly unrecognisable when involved in road rage incidents – or even trolley rage in supermarkets?The answer may be distilled down to one psychological phenomenon: self-esteem. It is one of the strongest motivating factors in clash and generates powerful emotions. We all have self-esteem,whether corporate or individual; we all have a need to contemplate well of ourselves, and for others to contemplate well of us. Self-esteem governs many of the decisions we make daily, and as we expend enormous amounts of time and effort constantly maintaining and protecting our self-image.
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Source: theguardian.com