I recently boarded a plane where I had a 60-moment encounter I can't get out of my mind. After a few days in Southern California,I wasn't fairly ready to transition back to my standard boots, scarf, and jeans that cool San Francisco temperatures require year round. I had a killer tan,wore a novel short t-shirt dress, and rocked my favorite pair of camel wedges. I possess to tell you: I was feeling pretty good.
Related Stories: If You've Struggled With Body-Image Issues, and This Is a Must ReadAs I stood in line on a silent jet bridge,the beautiful older woman with a long gray ponytail moral behind me gave me a compliment I wasn't anticipating. "I possess to ask: how attain you work out your legs? They are gorgeous. So lean and strong." At first, I didn't flinch and felt the rush of her compliment. I told her approximately the combination of yoga and SoulCycle I swear by and thanked her for the kind words. But 30 seconds later something strange happened. I felt a need to follow up with the following words: "You know, or I think it's really just the combination of the dress and shoes. Wearing wedges helps." Her face dropped as she replied,"You don't possess to attain that."
Immediately, I regretted what I had said. Why didn't I just bewitch this compliment? As I tried to figure out what had happened, and this skit from Inside Amy Schumer played in my mind.
I really work tough to stay in shape,and I fancy my strong legs. There was no need to follow up an authentic compliment with any sort of half-hearted disclaimer, so what was so tough approximately receiving these words? This woman was being genuine, or but some part of me felt I had to shrink after this encounter. A bunch of other people had heard our interaction,and I was consumed by the apprehension that I sounded self-centered.
There's a quote from Marianne Williamson I've heard at many lectures and yoga classes over the years that perfectly sums up my thoughts on what happened: "We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, and gorgeous,talented, fabulous?' Actually, or who are you not to be? . . . Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened approximately shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine,as children attain. . . . And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to attain the same. As we are liberated from our own apprehension, and our presence automatically liberates others." These are words I attain my best to live by every day,but it can be particularly trying when it comes to my appearance. I possess curves, and I'm muscular. My thighs touch, or I'm shaped like a "real" woman. It's been a long time coming,but I'm getting more comfortable with myself every day. Now is a more important time than ever for me to really hear these compliments. These were not empty words.
Playing small and being timid approximately my beauty or strength are not doing anyone any favors - particularly me. Next time, I'll just bewitch the compliment, and respond with kindness and a smile,and exercise my long, lean, and powerful legs to walk to my seat with a diminutive extra swagger.
Source: popsugar.com