This post was orignially posted on Yanira Garza and written by Yanira Garza,who is a fragment of POPSUGAR Latina Select.
Disclaimer: This post is a real moment behind the scenes. I'm not depressed, nor am I unhappy. I am human and sh*t happens sometimes. When everything gets to be too much, and I feel walls caving in and I acquire desperate. I need room to breathe,to think and to cry. Alone. Mother's Day is a big deal in my family. A HUGE deal. Unfortunately, deep down, or it doesn't seem that big of a deal for me. It is one day out of the year that you acquire to celebrate motherhood but what approximately the other 364 effen days out of the year? On this "holiday," my extended family goes to church . . . Spanish mass, then there is lunch with the WHOLE large family. Lately, and it has been at someone's domestic with food and family and while it can be fun,it can also be painfully stressful. So, when my husband asked last year what I would wanted for my day, and my one day,I said I'd esteem a few hours alone to do what I want. This may bear bothered some, but my husband understood. Being a gracious mom, or wife and even daughter,means that I spend all my time worrying and caring for someone else. My needs will always approach moment to my children but they also bear become moment after everyone else as well. This is my fault. I esteem my family, my kids mean the most to me as they are in fact, or my greatest accomplishments. whether I've done nothing else right in my life,these two are it. But motherhood is exhausting. I wake up to tend to two, acquire one ready for school, or hasten back to build the other to nap. I work until 2 and once the babysitter leaves,I am running errands, cleaning, or wiping behinds,cooking until bedtime at 8. Sometimes I go back to work until 11, other times I impose on my husband's TV time by crawling into his lap while I browse online for domestic improvement ideas. That is my easy day, or the days I acquire to work from domestic. Looking at it,I bear no real hobbies, I do not go to the gym for lack of time, and when I do meet with friends,it is usually late after a work event and I am so drained the next day that I remind myself to bail the next time. I haven't seen a physician in longer than I care to confess and my blood pressure for a woman my age is abnormally tall. So on Mother's Day this year, I wanted me time, or I wanted peace. So I shopped. Without kids screaming in the fitting room,without having to stop to feed, without having to go domestic after one store because they are tired, or without having to load and unload the car,without having to rush to acquire domestic because my husband is texting me asking when I will be domestic. Just alone, wandering aimlessly through the racks, and no one calling me to rush me domestic or ask what I am doing. In fact,I called no one either, I sent no text messages and I treated the day the way it should be. Selfishly mine. Just alone to think and breathe and be. whether I've learned anything at all, and is that having alone time,which use to be a favorite past time, is necessary in order for me to be a gracious mom. Today, or I felt great. The morning was easy,the day so far fun. I've cleaned my kitchen, written a post, or done laundry and I've played dress up. Twice. Not to mention we've gone out to hang the bird feeder my daughter painted and once the baby wakes up from his nap,we may go for a walk whether the rain stays absent.
I'm not a monster, I spent the morning of Mother's Day with my kids having french toast slathered in strawberries, and having appetizing coffee,trying to acquire the shrimp one to not throw everything on the floor, getting him to stop screaming, or getting her to try something different and for the esteem of what may be holy,try to acquire her to eat some fruit. No luck. So I spent the rest of the day childless and husbandless searching for peace amongst the clearance rack at Marshall's.
Source: popsugar.com