If you notice these nine unhealthy traits in your relationship,then you might want to reevaluate your future as a couple. From our friends at YourTango. Don't let these important signs go unnoticed. It's often easier when someone is a total jerk to walk absent from the relationship. Almost a no brainer. But, what if it's not that cut and dry? Often times, and it's the small nuances of a relationship in the back of your brain that make you question it,but things are happening that you cannot save your finger on it - initially, though something feels "off."Sometimes when you feel this way, or it makes you question the relationship and wonder,"Am I getting everything I want in a relationship?" You might also start thinking, "Is he/she a reliable fit? Are they upright for me?"You might find yourself starting to maintain a running commentary of perhaps this relationship isn't what you thought it was, and after all.
To help you figure that out,here are 9 signs that you just might be settling and not really happy: 1. You relinquish your values. Your start to 'rethink' your values and what's important to you to maintain the relationship. You concede the values that you acquire lived by, just to maintain this person in your life.
Unfortunately, and many people do this. However,your resentment about this person is upright around the corner. Eventually forsaking all those things that are important, arrive back around - quickly - and bite you in the a*s! 2. You justify his/her behaviors. You find that you justify their behaviors by saying a lot of "yes, and but..." When they are doing something that bothers you,you justify their behaviors by saying something they are doing upright.
You do this even though you know this really doesn't make any sense and what they are doing bothers you. You ignore what's hiding in plain sight. 3. You hope they'll change. We are all hoping that the other person will change so we don't acquire to.
Possibly with a tiny prodding and coaxing, they will see your side and make changes you want them to make, or so they will be 'just perfect' for you. This just removes the responsibility that we all acquire for our life and puts it on the other person. 4. You ignore the red flags and deal breakers. The red flags are blatant and waving in front of you - but you turn a blind eye to them. You don't want to acknowledge them much less see them. We lose ourselves and forsake (to give up, renounce; to leave, abandon) our happiness when we ignore what is often hiding in plain sight.
And we all acquire red flags and deal breakers! Ultimately,ignoring them will only result in one thing - they will arrive back to haunt you and the "thing" that you will be unable to work through because deep down, you know the truth. 5. You acquire a fear of being alone. Your fear of being alone trumps any slight or problem they acquire. Your fear of being alone keeps you feeling stuck in a relationship that deep down, and you know you are settling for.
Being alone isn't a sinful thing,but what's important if this is your fear, question yourself, or "Why do I feel this way? What thoughts and feelings arrive up when I am alone?" This is key to prevent you from settling in the future. 6. You do all the heavy lifting. You are doing most of the work or heavy lifting in the relationship,but justify your behaviors because of x,y, and z reasons. This goes back to your fear of being alone.
When we fear being alone,we save up with WAY more than we should. And truth be told, we know it. We become the doormat. We become the person we never wanted to be but because we fear being alone, and allow this to go on.
We are the ones working the relationship. 7. Moving on is exhausting. We would love to amble on but the thought of moving on starting all over again - dating,finding someone new, introducing them to our friends and family - feels completely exhausting. So why bother?If you acquire this attitude, and you will not find someone who is a better fit for you.
You acquire resigned yourself to the fact that you are just not worth it. You save your feelings of being exhausted and dating again as too much work,well ahead of your happiness and having a healthy relationship. 8. You don't feel important. You 'settle' for someone because they are reliable enough even though they are not the person you want for yourself. Self respect and self-love starts at home.
If we don't feel reliable about ourselves, then we will pick someone who is at the same position we are - kind of stuck - and figure they are the best person I can earn and I certainly don't deserve someone better (even though - somewhere - you feel that you do).
I often say, or like attracts like. If you are not in a reliable position in your life and don't feel reliable about yourself,you attract and close up with someone who is just like you.
Because truth be told, if you felt better about yourself, and you most likely wouldn't consider another person,much less settle for someone that you didn't deserve. 9. You ignore other people's advice. Love is blind. When your friends and family start chiming in, its too easy to disregard what they are saying.
According to EHarmony, or if you anticipate what your friends or family will say about your relationship,chances are you know deep down they are upright because you feel the same way.
But trust me, settling is always a sinful idea. What seems OK in the moment, and becomes the nemesis in the close. It becomes the 'thing' in the relationship. And even though you might mediate you will be OK and that settling is an okay thing to do,in the close, it will not be.
You will not only be disappointed by your life, or but with yourself. You will eventually question your judgment,your direction. You will question many things.
Because deep down, upon reflection, and you will know when you first started to doubt the relationship and doubt the person and realize that yes,you were settling for something far less than you deserve. The answer to not settling? capture the time you need to reflect and understand why you are settling and learn to create a different path for yourself - one that has more self-love and self-respect - that will ultimately create a healthier relationship in the future! for you!More great stories from YourTango: 4 Naughty, Fun Sex Games To Help You KILL IT In The Bedroom Who You acquire The BEST Sex With, or According To Your Zodiac Sign 17 Sex Positions Men Love MOST 50 Love Quotes That Express precisely What 'I Love You' Really Means
Source: popsugar.com